A Bitch in Time Offers Salty Cross-Stitch Patterns

If you’re the sort of person to be turned off or offended by a cross-stitch book called A Bitch in Time, you should probably move on from this review right now.

It’s a book full of 30 snarky cross-stitch patterns (or as the subtitle puts it, sarcastic stitches for you to stab) by crafty sister-brother duo Tara K. Reed and Roy W.P. Reed.

The sayings are twisted, sometimes off-color statements, puns and plays on more familiar sentiments. You can stitch a neon sign to remind everyone of your passive aggressive personality, or a star-studded piece complete with stitched tiara that says “swearing is part of my charm.”

There are a few statements in this book I can’t reprint on a family website, but others are just funny (like “just fries no guys,” “he’s just one guy in the grand scheme of flings,” “I’m not off-kilter, I have no kilter” or “sarcasm is a condiment put it on everything” stitched in the colors of ketchup, mustard and pickle relish).

A gallery of the designs includes skill level, size of the design and the frame size used in the sample. Color charts and a list of floss colors are found at the back of the book. Tips on stitching, reading charts and materials are also found at the back of the book, which will be helpful for new stitchers or those who need a refresher.

If you’re a cross-stitcher with a snarky side and you don’t mind the occasional swear word or sex joke, this collection will provide a lot of laughs and some fun stitching for all your friends with dirty minds and sarcastic hearts.

About the book: 100 pages, paperback, 30 patterns. Retails for $29.99. Published by the Reed Studio. Buy online.

Looking for more Snarky or Subversive Cross stitch charts and designs? Check these out on Etsy.

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Book Review: Maybe Swearing Will Help

Cute spooky and fantasy cross stitch patterns is how the designer behind Haunted Frames describes their shop, and I have to agree with them. These designs are cute and Gothic and a little bit spooky all at once. There’s a heavy focus on book themes, which you know I am a fan of, so let’s get into it.

Stopping first in the books section, there are lots of designs that are literally on book shapes, but if you know my love of both books and cats, you’ll know I had to share the Midnight Book Cart cross stitch pattern. As the name suggests it’s a design with a witchy book cart, complete with a spiderweb, bats flying out of a book and what it describes as a ghost cat (though I would have to make a black cat instead of a white one since I have a black cat, and that fits with the vibe).

The design is 65 by 97 stitches and is worked in 17 colors. It’s shown on 16 count fabric, which makes it 4.1 by 6.1 inches, or 10.3 by 15.4 cm.

I also love the winter themed little free library design, which would be perfect to stitch up for the little librarian in your life (or to drop at a neighborhood book space).

Projects with a book theme make up the majority of the patterns that are categorized in this shop, but you’ll want to scroll through all their patterns to see what else is available, since it doesn’t look like everything is in a category. You’ll find castles and dragons, more cats of course, some more obviously Halloween and Christmas themed projects and those that would suit for spooky season or any other time of year.

If cute and dark is your aesthetic, you’ll want to check out all the patterns at www.etsy.com/shop/HauntedFrames, which you can find on Etsy.

[Photo: Haunted Frames]

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