Cross-Stitch

Charts, patterns and everything needlepoint

Funny Valentine’s Cross Stitch Patterns

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After writing about the same holidays for many years, it can be hard to find new things to share, so I love to come at holidays from different angles, which is what these funny Valentine’s day cross stitch patterns do. 

If you really don’t like other people that much, except for your one person, I have a couple of options for you. “You Suck the Least” from Steph X Stitch uses the classic conversation heart shape to deliver its snarky message. This one fits in a 6-inch hoop (that’s 15.24 cm) when worked on 14 count fabric, and I think it uses three colors. 

Take it ever further with “I Hate You the Least” from Grammy’s Cuss Stitch. This one is decorated with flowers and hearts and I think it also fits in a 6-inch hoop but the description is a little unclear. 

Get prehistoric with your Valentine greetings with this T-Rex love story from Aliton Embroidery. Using just two colors, it measures 62 by 54 stitches, or 4.4 by 3.9 inches/11.25 by 9.8 cm on 14 count fabric. It also only uses full cross stitches, so even if you’re a beginner you can make this one. 

If your love story transcends even death, stitch up this heartfelt skeleton valentine from Sassy Fox Cross Stitch. It uses three colors and measures 95 by 60 stitches. That comes out to 6.8 by 4.3 inches or 17.2 by 10.9 cm on 14 count fabric. If you’d like to make it smaller the product description includes sizing for other fabric counts as well. 

If you just can’t be bothered to get excited about Valentine’s Day, I bring you the meh conversation heart cross stitch pattern from Magic Maus Menagerie. This project uses 3 colors and comes out to 6.1 by 5.7 inches, or about 15.5 by 14.5 cm.

Do you make cross stitch projects for Valentine’s Day? I’d love to hear what you’re stitching up or if you make one of these snarky projects! 

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Have you read?

Designer Spotlight: Unique Stitch Crafts

Unique Stitch Crafts is a Turkish designer that has a couple of main interests in their cross stitch designs: travel and Christmas stockings. 

By far the biggest category in their storefront is Christmas stockings, with more than 100 options to choose from. There are fully stitched fronts with designs classic and whimsical (like an alicorn and a pastel rainbow, or a bunny in Harlequin costume playing violin to a mushroom) and designs that just go across the cuff of the stocking. There are ornaments with a Nutcracker or Frozen theme, New York City stockings and stockings for your dinosaur. 

As an example, here’s a stocking covered with mini holiday designs, which you could also use as ornaments if you wanted. The full design is 165 by 255 stitches, which comes out to 10.3 by 16 inches, or 26 by 40.6 cm on 16 count fabric. The pattern just makes the front of the stocking so you need to grab some fabric for the back of the stocking and sew it together yourself. 

There’s also a large collection of travel cross stitch patterns, including national parks designs both large and mini, and travel poster style designs for many US states and cities. (There’s not an Arkansas, which is my standard test since I live there, but there is a pattern of the Mississippi River bridge in Memphis, which is technically half in Arkansas.)

If you’re more of a world traveler you’ll find more of the travel poster style designs for cities and countries, including Thailand and China, Berlin, Sydney and Marrakech. 

In addition to all of that, you’ll find patterns called retro, which includes a wide range of designs, but many seem to be food and coffee related; folk art designs (lots of flowers and birds); and famous paintings translated to cross stitch. Smaller categories include Christmas, Halloween, animals, kids and castles. 

Check out all the fun designs at Unique Stitch Crafts on Etsy. 

[Photo: Unique Stitch Crafts]