Cross-Stitch

Charts, patterns and everything needlepoint

Funny Valentine’s Cross Stitch Patterns

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After writing about the same holidays for many years, it can be hard to find new things to share, so I love to come at holidays from different angles, which is what these funny Valentine’s day cross stitch patterns do. 

If you really don’t like other people that much, except for your one person, I have a couple of options for you. “You Suck the Least” from Steph X Stitch uses the classic conversation heart shape to deliver its snarky message. This one fits in a 6-inch hoop (that’s 15.24 cm) when worked on 14 count fabric, and I think it uses three colors. 

Take it ever further with “I Hate You the Least” from Grammy’s Cuss Stitch. This one is decorated with flowers and hearts and I think it also fits in a 6-inch hoop but the description is a little unclear. 

Get prehistoric with your Valentine greetings with this T-Rex love story from Aliton Embroidery. Using just two colors, it measures 62 by 54 stitches, or 4.4 by 3.9 inches/11.25 by 9.8 cm on 14 count fabric. It also only uses full cross stitches, so even if you’re a beginner you can make this one. 

If your love story transcends even death, stitch up this heartfelt skeleton valentine from Sassy Fox Cross Stitch. It uses three colors and measures 95 by 60 stitches. That comes out to 6.8 by 4.3 inches or 17.2 by 10.9 cm on 14 count fabric. If you’d like to make it smaller the product description includes sizing for other fabric counts as well. 

If you just can’t be bothered to get excited about Valentine’s Day, I bring you the meh conversation heart cross stitch pattern from Magic Maus Menagerie. This project uses 3 colors and comes out to 6.1 by 5.7 inches, or about 15.5 by 14.5 cm.

Do you make cross stitch projects for Valentine’s Day? I’d love to hear what you’re stitching up or if you make one of these snarky projects! 

Next Pattern:

Have you read?

Cross Stitch Cards for All Occasions

I have never stitched a greeting card, but I kind of like the idea of it. It’s a card and a gift all in one, and hopefully one the recipient will hang onto for years to come. 

This collection of easy and colorful greeting card cross stitch patterns from Susan Bates (via Gathered) are a great place to start if you want to stitch your own greeting cards. 

These text-based designs cover a lot of card-sending events, such as:

  • get well soon
  • happy birthday
  • thank you
  • thinking of you
  • congratulations
  • anniversary
  • new home
  • good luck

The lettering is done in gradients and there are other details like hearts and stars, a house key and a gift, depending on the text. There are full cross stitches and back stitch on all of the cards, and they use 15 colors for the cross stitching and six for the back stitching (and just two colors are used for both, so it’s 19 colors total). 

The designs vary a bit in size but the biggest one is 52 by 67 stitches, which comes out to 3.75 by 4.75 inches or 9.5 by 12 cm when worked on 14 count fabric or 28 count evenweave. The text suggests beads are also used in the patterns but there’s no note of them in the key, so go wild and add some beads if you like. 

Designs are worked on a price of 6 by 8 inch/15 by 20 cm fabric and then mounted to a card with a colorful baking piece of card stock behind it. This is easy to assemble with whatever cardstock greeting cards you have on hand.

You can get the free charts as a PDF from Gathered. 

Have you ever stitched your own greeting cards? I’d love to hear about it, or let me know if these inspire you to try. 

[Photo: Susan Bates via Gathered]