Funny Valentine’s Cross Stitch Patterns

After writing about the same holidays for many years, it can be hard to find new things to share, so I love to come at holidays from different angles, which is what these funny Valentine’s day cross stitch patterns do.

If you really don’t like other people that much, except for your one person, I have a couple of options for you. “You Suck the Least” from Steph X Stitch uses the classic conversation heart shape to deliver its snarky message. This one fits in a 6-inch hoop (that’s 15.24 cm) when worked on 14 count fabric, and I think it uses three colors.

Take it ever further with “I Hate You the Least” from Grammy’s Cuss Stitch. This one is decorated with flowers and hearts and I think it also fits in a 6-inch hoop but the description is a little unclear.

Get prehistoric with your Valentine greetings with this T-Rex love story from Aliton Embroidery. Using just two colors, it measures 62 by 54 stitches, or 4.4 by 3.9 inches/11.25 by 9.8 cm on 14 count fabric. It also only uses full cross stitches, so even if you’re a beginner you can make this one.

If your love story transcends even death, stitch up this heartfelt skeleton valentine from Sassy Fox Cross Stitch. It uses three colors and measures 95 by 60 stitches. That comes out to 6.8 by 4.3 inches or 17.2 by 10.9 cm on 14 count fabric. If you’d like to make it smaller the product description includes sizing for other fabric counts as well.

If you just can’t be bothered to get excited about Valentine’s Day, I bring you the meh conversation heart cross stitch pattern from Magic Maus Menagerie. This project uses 3 colors and comes out to 6.1 by 5.7 inches, or about 15.5 by 14.5 cm.

Do you make cross stitch projects for Valentine’s Day? I’d love to hear what you’re stitching up or if you make one of these snarky projects!

Hanukkah is a great reason to pull out your cross stitch fabric and thread and stitch up some fun seasonal cross stitch patterns.

If you have trouble spelling Hanukkah (I know I do!) you’ll want to stitch up the How Do You Spell… project from SKB Cross Stitch Design. This one includes a bunch of different ways to spell the holiday, along with some symbols like a dreidel and menorah. (Technically I think all the ways to spell it are “correct.”) The pattern includes full, fractional and bask titches, and measures 8.5 by 7 inches, or 21.6 by 17.8 cm. It has the date for 2004/5785 but you can easily change the year or leave that part off.

Another project with some fun word play is the Words to Live By chart from Sam Brie Stitches. This one includes Hanukkah related symbols and word presented crossword puzzle style, which is fun to stitch and to display. The design uses 10 colors and measures 74 by 103 stitches. It’s shown worked on 18 count fabric.

I may have shared these before, but the Hanukkah patterns from the Frosted Pumpkin Stitchery are so cute they’re definitely worth sharing again. Happy Hanukkah features a menorah, dreidels, gelt, stars and candles, and it fits in a 6-inch hoop. At 75 by 75 stitches, it comes out to 5.4 inches/13.4 cm on 14 count Aida or 28 count linen. They also have this cute little dreidel stamp cross stitch pattern, which is 39 by 49 stitches, or 2.8 by 3.5 inches (about 7 by 9 cm) on 14 count Aida or 28 count linen.

Works By ABC has a lot of great patterns for Hanukkah, but here are just a couple to get you started. The Rules for Dreidel design is fun for kids and adults and shows the different sides of the dreidel and what it means when you land on them. The stitch count is 62 by 94 and its shown worked on 32 count linen. It calls for three colors. I also like this menorah one, which measures 44 by 49 stitches and uses two colors along with coordinating seed beads. On 32 count linen as shown (equivalent to 16 count Aida) it measures 2.75 by 3.1 inches, or almost 7 by 7.8 cm.

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