Funny Valentine’s Day Cross Stitch Patterns

If your love isn’t super romantic and cheesy, maybe you’d rather stitch up a little something to make you both laugh for Valentine’s Day. These funny designs are still sweet but with a punny or funny twist.

If you met your beloved on a dating site, stitch up this design from Faber Cross Stitch on Etsy about being glad you swiped right. The plaid heart adds a little extra cuteness, but you can make it a solid heart or change up the colors if you want. As shown it uses four colors and is 58 by 51 stitches, which makes it perfect for a 5-inch hoop.

I did mention puns, and My Darling Plum has a bunch of punny Valentine’s cross stitch patterns if that’s you’re style. I couldn’t resist sharing a couple. I’ve taken a Viking to you is 4.5 by 4.8 inches on 14 count fabric, and the designer recommends using blue, white or cream fabric. All you knead is love wouldn’t have to be a Valentine but it would also be cute for that purpose. This one is 4 by 4 inches on 14 count.

All Seasons Stitcher wants you to win the argument over who loves who more once and for all. This one fits in a 4-inch hoop and only uses a few colors, so it’s great for a beginner.

If your love can outlast the dinosaurs (or maybe you’re as old as dinosaurs, LOL) this dino love Valentine cross stitch might be just the thing. It’s from Aliton Embroidery and just uses two colors in a design that measures 62 by 54 stitches, or 4.4 by 3.9 inches on 14 count fabric.

And if you’d do a lot of things, but not anything for your love, maybe you can express that with this almost sweet sentiment, also from Faber Cross Stitch. This one measures 102 by 106 stitches (or 7.2 by 7.5 inches on 14 count fabric) and uses four colors.

Most of the cross stitch projects I make are pretty small and not something I would consider heirloom quality (though I am working on a big project for my daughter that I hope to have done for her high school graduation in two years that I hope is something she’ll want to keep forever, but that’s another story).

But it is definitely possible to cross stitch projects that will stay around for generations, and one prime example of that is a cross-stitched linen tablecloth.

Linen tablecloths are classic, while stitching one can be a big project, depending on the size of your table, it doesn’t have to be really complicated.

Koekoek has a good, detailed post about figuring out how much linen you would need to make a tablecloth that you can cross stitch and/or embroider on (they also sell tablecloth linen in their shop if you don’t already have some or a linen tablecloth you already use). Of course for a project like this you’d want the best fabric you can find and afford, because you’ll be stitching it for a long time and hopefully using it for years.

The post walks through how to measure your table and determine how much fabric you’ll need including the drop you’ll want and hems. It includes the math for rectangular and square tables as well as circular tables, which helps take the guesswork out of buying fabric. It also talks about preparing the fabric and making mitered corners if you have a square or rectangular table, which will help the tablecloth sit nicely on your table.

The tutorial doesn’t include specific patterns to use for your tablecloth, but it does advise keeping it simple because this is a really big project. You can start with a motif in the center or doing borders, and this is a project you can add to through the years by, say, stitching a symbol for each family member or adding names, wedding dates, etc. and making it a real record of your family.

Would you ever cross stitch a tablecloth or have you done so? I’d love to hear about it!

[Photo: Koekoek]

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