Review: I Got 99 Problems But a Stitch Ain’t One

Subversive or salty cross-stitch patterns are a lot of fun to make and to display in your home or give as gifts. These sorts of projects refute the reputation of cross stitch as being something for little old ladies or schoolchildren’s samplers. They are fun, funny and might just make you blush a little bit.

Genevieve Brading’s book I Got 99 Problems But a Stitch Ain’t One: Cross-Stitch with Attitude features 20 designs that will be particularly though not exclusively attractive to younger crafters.

Statements like “What Would Beyonce Do?” and “In Taylor We Trust” definitely appeal to a certain demographic. Some use language you might not want on your wall if children are present. Others will appeal to a range of stitches, such as the “Wallet? Phone? Keys?” design to put where you keep your daily essentials, or “No Speaking Before Coffee” to keep near the office coffeepot.

The book includes a nice overview of the basics of stitching, the tools you need and how to frame your finished projects. The charts are large and most don’t use that many colors and mostly include words and pretty straightforward designs that would be great for beginners.

This book would be a great gift for a younger person (teens and up) you might be trying to get interested in cross stitch, or for stitchers of any age who are up on popular culture and don’t mind swearing. A lot of the projects in here would also make great gifts (I’m thinking hard about “Namaste and S**t” for my yoga instructor friend).

About the Book: 96 pages, hardcover, 20 patterns. Published October 2016 by Mitchell Beazley, retail price $12.99

Looking for more Snarky or Subversive Cross stitch charts and designs? Check these out on Etsy.

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Funny St. Patrick's Day Cross Stitch Patterns

If you’re a fan of detailed and colorful cross stitch patterns, Design for Cross Stitch might have a pattern you want to try. This Etsy shop is based in Spain and has more than 50 designs with a focus on animals, holidays and landscapes.

I’m just going to start with the first pattern that caught my eye when I visited the site, which is this Sakura by the Lake project. This pattern is 200 by 200 stitches and the whole background is stitched, so it’s definitely not for a beginner, but it’s stunning and would be amazing to make for someone who loves Japan. Despite the detail it only uses 24 colors. Worked on 14 count fabric it will measure 14.64 inches, or 37.19 cm.

There are a few other landscape designs, including a canal in Venice and a few cabins in the woods.

The shop also has some cute animal cross stitch, with big, round faces and often holding a warm beverage. Holiday projects focus on Christmas and Halloween. Most of the patterns have a cute, chibi-like feel, but there are some that are more detailed and realistic as well. Take for examples the flower patterns, which are full of details and soft colors.

You’ll also find some fun bookmark cross stitch patterns with a watercolor feel, as well as some that look kind of like paint pouring turned into stitches.

If this sort of stuff sounds like fun to you, check out their Etsy store at Design for Cross Stitch.

Do you have a favorite cross stitch designer who I haven’t featured yet? Let me know in the comments or share more about them by clicking on “suggest a DIY” at the center top of the page and let me know the details. I’d love to share the designers you’re enjoying with a wider audience.

[Photo: Design for Cross Stitch]

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