Review: I Got 99 Problems But a Stitch Ain’t One

November 16, 2016 by Sarah White Leave a Comment

Subversive or salty cross-stitch patterns are a lot of fun to make and to display in your home or give as gifts. These sorts of projects refute the reputation of cross stitch as being something for little old ladies or schoolchildren’s samplers. They are fun, funny and might just make you blush a little bit.

Genevieve Brading’s book I Got 99 Problems But a Stitch Ain’t One: Cross-Stitch with Attitude features 20 designs that will be particularly though not exclusively attractive to younger crafters.

Statements like “What Would Beyonce Do?” and “In Taylor We Trust” definitely appeal to a certain demographic. Some use language you might not want on your wall if children are present. Others will appeal to a range of stitches, such as the “Wallet? Phone? Keys?” design to put where you keep your daily essentials, or “No Speaking Before Coffee” to keep near the office coffeepot.

The book includes a nice overview of the basics of stitching, the tools you need and how to frame your finished projects. The charts are large and most don’t use that many colors and mostly include words and pretty straightforward designs that would be great for beginners.

This book would be a great gift for a younger person (teens and up) you might be trying to get interested in cross stitch, or for stitchers of any age who are up on popular culture and don’t mind swearing. A lot of the projects in here would also make great gifts (I’m thinking hard about “Namaste and S**t” for my yoga instructor friend).

About the Book: 96 pages, hardcover, 20 patterns. Published October 2016 by Mitchell Beazley, retail price $12.99

Looking for more Snarky or Subversive Cross stitch charts and designs? Check these out on Etsy.

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Funny St. Patrick's Day Cross Stitch Patterns

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Designer Spotlight: Niche Stitches

Niche Stitches is a United States based Etsy shop that sells, by its own description, “bookish and modern cross stitch patterns.” You’ll also find patterns related to video games, movies, and more.

There is definitely a fantasy focus when it comes to these patterns, with several designs based on characters and quotes from the A Court of Thorns and Roses and Crescent City series, both of which are by Sarah J. Maas. You’ll also find dragons, a magic rabbit and more designs.

In the video gaming section there are patterns with game controllers and designs from Stardew Valley and Animal Crossing New Horizons.

The designs that really caught my eye were the seasonal ones, because they are heavy on designs inspired by The Muppet Christmas Carol. Here’s one of my favorites, a pair with Gonzo as the narrator and Rizzo as Tiny Tim telling us why they are in the story.

This one is set up as two separate patterns, with Gonzo measuring 106 by 153 stitches, which comes out to about 7.6 by 10.9 inches, or 19.3 by 27.7 cm on 14 count fabric. His design uses 15 colors. Rizzo is 93 by 137 stitches, or 6.6 by 9.8 inches/16.8 by 24.9 cm on 14 count fabric, and it also uses 15 colors. These might be a little big to hang on the tree but you could hang them next to each other on the wall.

There are also a few Halloween patterns and a section of animal cross stitch patterns, most of which are birds, with an elephant and giraffe thrown in.

This is a great shop to visit if you’re into fantasy books and cross stitch, but there are some great designs even if you’re not into that genre. Check out Niche Stitches on Etsy, and be sure to let me know if you have a favorite cross stitch designer I haven’t featured yet!

[Photo: Niche Stitches]

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