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A Bitch in Time Offers Salty Cross-Stitch Patterns

January 22, 2021 by Sarah White

If you’re the sort of person to be turned off or offended by a cross-stitch book called A Bitch in Time, you should probably move on from this review right now.

It’s a book full of 30 snarky cross-stitch patterns (or as the subtitle puts it, sarcastic stitches for you to stab) by crafty sister-brother duo Tara K. Reed and Roy W.P. Reed.

The sayings are twisted, sometimes off-color statements, puns and plays on more familiar sentiments. You can stitch a neon sign to remind everyone of your passive aggressive personality, or a star-studded piece complete with stitched tiara that says “swearing is part of my charm.”

There are a few statements in this book I can’t reprint on a family website, but others are just funny (like “just fries no guys,” “he’s just one guy in the grand scheme of flings,” “I’m not off-kilter, I have no kilter” or “sarcasm is a condiment put it on everything” stitched in the colors of ketchup, mustard and pickle relish).

A gallery of the designs includes skill level, size of the design and the frame size used in the sample. Color charts and a list of floss colors are found at the back of the book. Tips on stitching, reading charts and materials are also found at the back of the book, which will be helpful for new stitchers or those who need a refresher.

If you’re a cross-stitcher with a snarky side and you don’t mind the occasional swear word or sex joke, this collection will provide a lot of laughs and some fun stitching for all your friends with dirty minds and sarcastic hearts.

About the book: 100 pages, paperback, 30 patterns. Retails for $29.99. Published by the Reed Studio. Buy online.

Looking for more Snarky or Subversive Cross stitch charts and designs? Check these out on Etsy. 

Next Pattern:

  • Book Review: Maybe Swearing Will Help
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Have you read?

Labubu Cross Stitch Patterns

For some reason I missed out on the beginning of the Labubu trend (my teen isn’t into it) but now that I’m seeing it everywhere it seems like a good time to look into Labubu cross stitch patterns. 

These creepy cute little monsters show up in all sorts of cute outfits, which makes them fun to stitch for a Labubu lover of any age. 

In cross stitch the pink Labubu seems to show up the most often. You can stitch up this one with a slightly sinister face from MK Cross Stitch Shop. This one is 23 by 43 stitches and uses eight colors. On 14 count fabric it comes out to 1.64 by 3.07 inches, or 4.17 by 7.8 cm. 

There’s also this fuzzy little monster from Alya Cross Stitch, which uses six colors on a project that’s 100 by 169 stitches. 

Or try this lovely little Labubu with a flower in its hair. This one is by Stitch Heart UA, and would be perfect for a little kid’s room or as a decoration for spring. It measures 93 by 128 stitches, which comes out to 6.6 by 92. inches/16.9 by 23.3 cm on 14 count fabric. It uses 17 colors and 5 blends.

If you want to just stitch the faces, I like this collection of Labubu heads to cross stitch in different pastel colors. This design from Stitched by Sophie AUS has 23 colors and measures 120 stitches square. That comes out to about 8.6 inches or 22 cm square on 14 count fabric. 

Or you can make a little collection of different characters with this set from Sampler Cross Stitch. Stitch one or stitch them all. Each one is 30 by 60 stitches, or 2.57 by 4.57 inches/6.5 by 11.6 cm. 

How about a Halloween themed Labubu? I love this one from Handiwork of Natalie, who also has some other themed Labubu cross stitch patterns. This one is 66 by 99 stitches and uses 12 colors. It suggests cross stitch fabric that’s 4.75 by 7 inches or 12 by 18 cm. 

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