A Bitch in Time Offers Salty Cross-Stitch Patterns

If you’re the sort of person to be turned off or offended by a cross-stitch book called A Bitch in Time, you should probably move on from this review right now.

It’s a book full of 30 snarky cross-stitch patterns (or as the subtitle puts it, sarcastic stitches for you to stab) by crafty sister-brother duo Tara K. Reed and Roy W.P. Reed.

The sayings are twisted, sometimes off-color statements, puns and plays on more familiar sentiments. You can stitch a neon sign to remind everyone of your passive aggressive personality, or a star-studded piece complete with stitched tiara that says “swearing is part of my charm.”

There are a few statements in this book I can’t reprint on a family website, but others are just funny (like “just fries no guys,” “he’s just one guy in the grand scheme of flings,” “I’m not off-kilter, I have no kilter” or “sarcasm is a condiment put it on everything” stitched in the colors of ketchup, mustard and pickle relish).

A gallery of the designs includes skill level, size of the design and the frame size used in the sample. Color charts and a list of floss colors are found at the back of the book. Tips on stitching, reading charts and materials are also found at the back of the book, which will be helpful for new stitchers or those who need a refresher.

If you’re a cross-stitcher with a snarky side and you don’t mind the occasional swear word or sex joke, this collection will provide a lot of laughs and some fun stitching for all your friends with dirty minds and sarcastic hearts.

About the book: 100 pages, paperback, 30 patterns. Retails for $29.99. Published by the Reed Studio. Buy online.

Looking for more Snarky or Subversive Cross stitch charts and designs? Check these out on Etsy.

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Book Review: Maybe Swearing Will Help

If you like repeating cross stitch designs, borders you can use on other projects or as bookmarks, florals and Japanese-inspired designs, you’ll want to check out 200 Japanese Cross Stitch Designs by Saeko Endo. This collection of 200 cross stitch charts is low on instruction but big on inspiration for those who are comfortable taking a chart and running with it.

The book includes a brief introduction to the needed supplies and basics of stitching, but mostly is just photographs of finished designs and the charts that go with them. The charts vary widely in size and there can be anywhere from one to six charts printed on a single page.

Many of the designs are repeating patterns, but the chart shows a larger version so you can see how the repeats go together. Each chart has marked what portion is repeating and how many stitches and rows it includes. Other than that the charts are not numbered, but there are darker lines every five rows to help you count.

The patterns all range from one to three colors, and some include half cross stitches or back stitching, but most are full stitches.

The book is arranged into categories of motifs: geometric patterns, retro patterns, traditional Japanese patterns, floral and fauna and borders and pictorial motifs.

My favorites are the Japanese designs, many of which are recognizable from woodcuts, kimono designs and traditional shashiko embroidery. You’ll find cherry blossoms, suns, knots, and simple line designs that would be lots of fun to stitch.

There are a few pages devoted to different ways to modify charts such as changing colors, changing the way to design is repeated, flipping and rotating designs.

Other than that you’re on your own for how you actually want to use these designs. Of course they can just be stitched and framed but it might have been nice to see some of the projects stitched and staged in a way you might use them in everyday life (repeating motifs as coasters, or a bigger design turned into a pillow, for example).

Sometimes it helps to see designs used in different ways to get you thinking about how you might use them yourself. If you don’t need that creative push, this is a fine book full of patterns you’ll have fun playing with in different ways.

About the book: 112 pages, paperback, 200 patterns. Published 2025 by David & Charles. Suggested retail price $24.99.

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