Book Review: Maybe Swearing Will Help

Snarky cross stitch — whether sweary or not — has been a big trend in recent years, and if this is not your style, scroll on by. I’m not sure I can review Maybe Swearing Will Help: Relax and Curse Your Ass Off in Cross Stitch without dropping some swears (especially since there’s one in the title!).

If you are the sort who likes your language a little salty, this book is so much fun. The 25 patterns in the book come from a range of designers and include a range of curses and swears. Some of them are merely snarky like the one that says “I wish I was a Unicorn so I could stab stupid people with my head” (designed by Aliton Embroidery) or Wash Your Damn Hands from Stitchy Little Fox.

A pop art style lady wonders “what the actual f**k” (of course the whole word is in the chart) in a design by Happy Sloth, while bold letters surrounded by flowers declare “Holy s**t I Love You” in a pattern from EZBakedCrafts. Grandma Girl Designs shares an elaborate piece with flowers and skulls that says “Oh Hell No,” while BeCoProductions’ design welcomes visitors to “the s**tshow.”

And of course there’s a stitched version of the classic meme about the barren field where you grow your f**ks. This one is also from EZBakedCrafts. Oh you can say f**k it in the style of a tattoo with a heart and birds, designed by Happy Sloth.

There are lots of other patterns that get a little more sweary, but I think you get the idea.

Patterns are presented with a full page, color photo of the stitched design, a page with the finished size and variations depending on the size fabric you use (14 count is recommended) and a color chart for the required threads. The charts are presented over two or more pages so they are easy to read. Stitching tips are included throughout, as well as a section covering the basics at the beginning of the book.

If you like your stitching with a side of swearing, or know someone with a sarcastic sense of humor who would enjoy the combination of cross stitch and cursing, you’re going to love this book.

About the book: 128 pages, paperback, 25 patterns. Published 2023 by Weldon Owen. Suggested retail $22.99.

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Book-Themed Bookmark Cross Stitch Patterns

Summer is the time for sweet treats, whether eating them or stitching them. This collection of patterns is full of designs that are good enough to eat. Almost.

This year of ice creams from Simone Balman Art is lots of fun, and you could also stitch up these treats individually if you’d rather. The full piece is 210 by 300 stitches, though it’s not full coverage. It uses 25 colors and comes out to 13.6 by 20.1 inches, or 34.5 by 51.2 cm, as shown on 14 count fabric.

These mini Popsicles from Mariana Gonclaves ART as super sweet and quick to stitch. These would also be a fun border to another summer project. The full design is 43 by 46 stitches, which is 3.1 by 3.3 inches, or 7.8 by 8.3 cm, on 14 count fabric.

Sam X Stitch has this fun sweet treat sampler, which again would be fun to stitch as individual pieces (maybe on napkins?). In all it calls for 18 colors and measures 153 by 153 stitches. That comes out to 10.93 inches or 27.75 cm on 14 count fabric.

Another great sampler is this one with ice cream and other sweet treats from Cute Patterns by Maria. At 119 by 132 stitches total, working the full pattern would be about 8.6 by 9.4 inches, or 22 by 24 cm on 14 count fabric, and it uses 33 colors. You can also stitch individual designs, which range in height from 35 to 45 stitches, and in width from 11 to 28.

This collection of four sundae patterns from Stichrovia would be fun to make for a kitchen or a teen’s room. Each pattern is around 40 by 50 stitches, so they should fit in a four or five inch hoop if worked on 14 count fabric.

Or stitch up one of the treats from Stitch Chart Studio‘s collection of seven ice cream cross stitch patterns. These range in size and in number of colors needed, but most would fit in a five or six in hoop (and one in a four inch hoop).

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