Cross-Stitch

Charts, patterns and everything needlepoint

Book Review: Maybe Swearing Will Help

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Snarky cross stitch — whether sweary or not — has been a big trend in recent years, and if this is not your style, scroll on by. I’m not sure I can review Maybe Swearing Will Help: Relax and Curse Your Ass Off in Cross Stitch without dropping some swears (especially since there’s one in the title!).

If you are the sort who likes your language a little salty, this book is so much fun. The 25 patterns in the book come from a range of designers and include a range of curses and swears. Some of them are merely snarky like the one that says “I wish I was a Unicorn so I could stab stupid people with my head” (designed by Aliton Embroidery) or Wash Your Damn Hands from Stitchy Little Fox.

A pop art style lady wonders “what the actual f**k” (of course the whole word is in the chart) in a design by Happy Sloth, while bold letters surrounded by flowers declare “Holy s**t I Love You” in a pattern from EZBakedCrafts. Grandma Girl Designs shares an elaborate piece with flowers and skulls that says “Oh Hell No,” while BeCoProductions’ design welcomes visitors to “the s**tshow.”

And of course there’s a stitched version of the classic meme about the barren field where you grow your f**ks. This one is also from EZBakedCrafts. Oh you can say f**k it in the style of a tattoo with a heart and birds, designed by Happy Sloth.

There are lots of other patterns that get a little more sweary, but I think you get the idea.

Patterns are presented with a full page, color photo of the stitched design, a page with the finished size and variations depending on the size fabric you use (14 count is recommended) and a color chart for the required threads. The charts are presented over two or more pages so they are easy to read. Stitching tips are included throughout, as well as a section covering the basics at the beginning of the book.

If you like your stitching with a side of swearing, or know someone with a sarcastic sense of humor who would enjoy the combination of cross stitch and cursing, you’re going to love this book.

About the book: 128 pages, paperback, 25 patterns. Published 2023 by Weldon Owen. Suggested retail $22.99.

 

 

Have you read?

Backpack Cross Stitch Patterns

These backpack cross stitch patterns aren’t like the backpacks you would use for school, but they might inspire you to go on a different sort of adventure, and pack your sense of humor. 

When it comes to funny cross stitch, this Adventure Awaits rubber ducky cross stitch pattern from Relaxing Hobby Studio is super cute. It uses nine colors and measures 52 by 75 stitches, which comes out to about 3.8 by 5.4 inches, or 9.7 by 13.8 cm, on 14 count fabric. 

I also love this little pigeon adventurer from Happy Cross Stitchers. Actually, with hoodie and sneakers this pigeon does look like he’s ready for school! This one measures 88 by 138 stitches and uses 13 colors. On 14 count fabric it comes out to about 6.2 by 9.8 inches, or 15.97 by 25.04 cm.

This sleepy cat is ready for an adventure as soon as they wake up from their nap. This sweet design from MoonLit Patterns features a kitty curled up on a backpack and wearing a knight’s helmet. This project uses 19 colors and measures 130 by 130 stitches. That makes it about 9.3 inches square, or 23.6 cm, when stitched on 14 count fabric. 

Or stitch up this backpack filled with flowers from Owl and Thread. This looks like just the bag you’d want to have for a walk in the forest or a spring meadow. The design is 71 by 90 stitches and uses 32 colors. On 14 count fabric it comes out to about 5 by 6.4 inches, or 12.9 16.3 cm.

I also like this kind of watercolor look girl with a backpack pattern from StitchALong Studios. You can change the color of hair and clothes as you like. As shown it uses 20 colors and is 90 by 132 stitches. That’s 6.375 by 9.375 inches, or 16 by 24 cm, if you work on 14 count fabric. 

If you’re looking for a design with more of a fall or winter look, check out this girl with a backpack wearing a hat and coat from GlamourXStitch. At 150 by 150 stitches, this one uses 26 colors. It comes out to 10.71 inches, or 27.2 cm, on 14 count fabric.