Book Review: Maybe Swearing Will Help

Snarky cross stitch — whether sweary or not — has been a big trend in recent years, and if this is not your style, scroll on by. I’m not sure I can review Maybe Swearing Will Help: Relax and Curse Your Ass Off in Cross Stitch without dropping some swears (especially since there’s one in the title!).

If you are the sort who likes your language a little salty, this book is so much fun. The 25 patterns in the book come from a range of designers and include a range of curses and swears. Some of them are merely snarky like the one that says “I wish I was a Unicorn so I could stab stupid people with my head” (designed by Aliton Embroidery) or Wash Your Damn Hands from Stitchy Little Fox.

A pop art style lady wonders “what the actual f**k” (of course the whole word is in the chart) in a design by Happy Sloth, while bold letters surrounded by flowers declare “Holy s**t I Love You” in a pattern from EZBakedCrafts. Grandma Girl Designs shares an elaborate piece with flowers and skulls that says “Oh Hell No,” while BeCoProductions’ design welcomes visitors to “the s**tshow.”

And of course there’s a stitched version of the classic meme about the barren field where you grow your f**ks. This one is also from EZBakedCrafts. Oh you can say f**k it in the style of a tattoo with a heart and birds, designed by Happy Sloth.

There are lots of other patterns that get a little more sweary, but I think you get the idea.

Patterns are presented with a full page, color photo of the stitched design, a page with the finished size and variations depending on the size fabric you use (14 count is recommended) and a color chart for the required threads. The charts are presented over two or more pages so they are easy to read. Stitching tips are included throughout, as well as a section covering the basics at the beginning of the book.

If you like your stitching with a side of swearing, or know someone with a sarcastic sense of humor who would enjoy the combination of cross stitch and cursing, you’re going to love this book.

About the book: 128 pages, paperback, 25 patterns. Published 2023 by Weldon Owen. Suggested retail $22.99.

As a knitter, I love a good sheep motif, so let’s take a look at some cute sheep cross stitch patterns.

If you want to stitch a little sheep, this mini square from Good Dog Needleworks is a nice choice. It uses just three colors and measures 32 by 32 stitches. That’s 2.2 inches or about 5.5 cm square if you stitch it on 14 count fabric.

I also love these two little sheep, which you can stitch together or in individual hoops and shown. The designs are form Threadbound Art and use six colors. They are slightly different in size, with one being 21 by 17 stitches and the other 21 by 20. They fit in four inch frames if you work them on 14 count fabric.

You can stitch a sweet sheep bookmark with this design from Kits by SA Stitch. This is not for the person who doesn’t like back stitch, because there’s a lot of that here, but it is really cute. It measures 30 by 91 stitches and uses 10 colors. That will make your bookmark about 2.4 by 6.5 inches, or 6 by 16.5 cm on 14 count fabric.

Stitch a pretty scene of sheep in a meadow with this design from Motok Nytok. It uses 21 colors and the design is 99 by 73 stitches. On 14 count fabric that makes it about 7.07 by 5.21 inches, or 17.96 by 13.24 cm.

This yarn full of cross stitch sheep has a bit of a knitting twist because the sheep all look like they have sweaters on. The design is from Soda Stitch Design and it measures 179 by 216 stitches. The full design uses 27 colors. On 14 count fabric it will work out to 12.78 by 15.42 inches, or 32.48 by 39.19 cm.

Another great one with a knitting theme is this one where the wool is coming off the sheep and straight onto the needles. This one is from Happy Cross Stitchers and uses 12 colors. The pattern is 137 by 137 stitches, which comes out to 9.7 inches or 24.86 cm square on 14 count fabric. This would be a fun one to stitch for the knitter in your life (even if that is you).

Or you can stitch the field of sheep of a knitter’s dreams with the Happy Sheep chart from Charts and Stuff. These per-colored sheep can be stitched as shown or worked in any colors you like. The eyes are French knots but you can just stitch them in white if you’d rather.

Have you read?