Book Review: Maybe Swearing Will Help

Snarky cross stitch — whether sweary or not — has been a big trend in recent years, and if this is not your style, scroll on by. I’m not sure I can review Maybe Swearing Will Help: Relax and Curse Your Ass Off in Cross Stitch without dropping some swears (especially since there’s one in the title!).

If you are the sort who likes your language a little salty, this book is so much fun. The 25 patterns in the book come from a range of designers and include a range of curses and swears. Some of them are merely snarky like the one that says “I wish I was a Unicorn so I could stab stupid people with my head” (designed by Aliton Embroidery) or Wash Your Damn Hands from Stitchy Little Fox.

A pop art style lady wonders “what the actual f**k” (of course the whole word is in the chart) in a design by Happy Sloth, while bold letters surrounded by flowers declare “Holy s**t I Love You” in a pattern from EZBakedCrafts. Grandma Girl Designs shares an elaborate piece with flowers and skulls that says “Oh Hell No,” while BeCoProductions’ design welcomes visitors to “the s**tshow.”

And of course there’s a stitched version of the classic meme about the barren field where you grow your f**ks. This one is also from EZBakedCrafts. Oh you can say f**k it in the style of a tattoo with a heart and birds, designed by Happy Sloth.

There are lots of other patterns that get a little more sweary, but I think you get the idea.

Patterns are presented with a full page, color photo of the stitched design, a page with the finished size and variations depending on the size fabric you use (14 count is recommended) and a color chart for the required threads. The charts are presented over two or more pages so they are easy to read. Stitching tips are included throughout, as well as a section covering the basics at the beginning of the book.

If you like your stitching with a side of swearing, or know someone with a sarcastic sense of humor who would enjoy the combination of cross stitch and cursing, you’re going to love this book.

About the book: 128 pages, paperback, 25 patterns. Published 2023 by Weldon Owen. Suggested retail $22.99.

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35+ Sunflower Cross Stitch Patterns

Natalka Studio is an Etsy shop based in Ukraine with a wide variety of cross stitch designs, including realistic, detailed designs with women doing various things, holiday patterns, geometrics and more.

One of the biggest categories in the shop is called girl cross stitch, which features detailed designs of women with flowing hair doing things like drinking coffee, dancing and carrying flowers. There are seasonal projects in this category as well as a couple having to do with hobbies.

I like the knitting one, of course, and almost shared the sewing one as the featured pattern above until I realized the thread is coming off a cone on the floor and there’s no pedal for running the machine.

The one I am sharing here isn’t actually in that category but it is really cute. Little Girl with Watermelon uses 21 colors and measures 73 by 73 stitches. That’s 5.21 inches or 13.3 cm square if you work it on 14 count fabric. I love her messy hair and the little dress and matching bows. You could also change the colors if you have a little girl who isn’t as into pink (or doesn’t have brown hair).

The largest category on the page is animals, and there you will find wild animals like monkeys, pandas and sloths; ocean creatures such as rays, an octopus and a blue tang fish; frogs, dogs and geese, among others.

There are also a lot of Christmas cross stitch patterns, which include a lot of traditional motifs and some more whimsical themes. I like this one of Santa resting by the fire with his boots off.

In addition to all these you’ll find pretty flowers, a bunch of mostly floral bookmarks, a whole big set of patterns with lemons, and a lot more. The fruits and berries section (if you like fruits other than lemons) would be perfect for decorating your kitchen or breakfast area.

Check out all the great patterns they have to offer at Natalka Studio on Etsy.

[Photo: Natalka Studio]

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