Book Review: Maybe Swearing Will Help

Snarky cross stitch — whether sweary or not — has been a big trend in recent years, and if this is not your style, scroll on by. I’m not sure I can review Maybe Swearing Will Help: Relax and Curse Your Ass Off in Cross Stitch without dropping some swears (especially since there’s one in the title!).

If you are the sort who likes your language a little salty, this book is so much fun. The 25 patterns in the book come from a range of designers and include a range of curses and swears. Some of them are merely snarky like the one that says “I wish I was a Unicorn so I could stab stupid people with my head” (designed by Aliton Embroidery) or Wash Your Damn Hands from Stitchy Little Fox.

A pop art style lady wonders “what the actual f**k” (of course the whole word is in the chart) in a design by Happy Sloth, while bold letters surrounded by flowers declare “Holy s**t I Love You” in a pattern from EZBakedCrafts. Grandma Girl Designs shares an elaborate piece with flowers and skulls that says “Oh Hell No,” while BeCoProductions’ design welcomes visitors to “the s**tshow.”

And of course there’s a stitched version of the classic meme about the barren field where you grow your f**ks. This one is also from EZBakedCrafts. Oh you can say f**k it in the style of a tattoo with a heart and birds, designed by Happy Sloth.

There are lots of other patterns that get a little more sweary, but I think you get the idea.

Patterns are presented with a full page, color photo of the stitched design, a page with the finished size and variations depending on the size fabric you use (14 count is recommended) and a color chart for the required threads. The charts are presented over two or more pages so they are easy to read. Stitching tips are included throughout, as well as a section covering the basics at the beginning of the book.

If you like your stitching with a side of swearing, or know someone with a sarcastic sense of humor who would enjoy the combination of cross stitch and cursing, you’re going to love this book.

About the book: 128 pages, paperback, 25 patterns. Published 2023 by Weldon Owen. Suggested retail $22.99.

Next Pattern:

35+ Sunflower Cross Stitch Patterns

I don’t know why it still surprises me that there are cross stitch patterns available for almost anything you can think of. I wasn’t looking for pool themed cross stitch patterns, but in scrolling around Etsy looking more generally for summer cross stitch patterns, I found a lot of pool patterns so I figured I should share them.

I love the colors in these designs, almost as cool as sliding into the pool on a hot day.

The first one I found was Pool Party by Milky Stitch. It features someone lounging in the pool, someone lounging next to the pool, and some fun accessories you might need for a day at the pool. It uses 20 colors and was designed for 11 count fabric, which means it comes out to 12.2 by 8.2 inches, or 31 by 21 cm.

Pastel Pool from Stitch Me Good Designs looks like it would fit right in with Pool Party on a gallery wall. This one uses seven colors and 14 count fabric and fits in a 7-inch hoop.

Speaking of gallery walls, if you want a room full of summer sun and pool themed cross stitch, check out this trifecta of pool designs from Craft Bundle Lab. There’s a women floating in a pool with a large hat, a float in a pool and several floats and pool toys in another pool with a fun checkerboard bottom. Each design uses 12 colors and they are about 14.6 inches/37 cm square worked on 14-count fabric.

This designs from Cross Stitchers United shows three people floating in a pool in different ways. This one has cross stitched water, or you can stitch it on blue fabric and save yourself some time. As shown it uses nine colors and is 94 by 94 stitches, which is 6.7 inches or 17 cm square on 14-count fabric.

The Swimmers in a Pool cross stitch pattern from Thread Nova Studios is delightful. It’s stitched with everyone wearing red suits, but you could change up some of them — or even just one of them — to change the look of the project. This one uses 14 colors and is 200 by 200 stitches. That’s about 14.3 inches/36.3 cm on 14 count fabric, though the pattern includes sizing for other stitch counts, too.

And finally the pool pattern from The Lady at Home just makes you wish you could jump right into it. The pool with floats looks super inviting, and it is stitched on 14-count fabric with a finished size of 5 by 7 inches/12.7 by 17.8 cm.

Next Pattern:

Have you read?