Review: I Got 99 Problems But a Stitch Ain’t One

Subversive or salty cross-stitch patterns are a lot of fun to make and to display in your home or give as gifts. These sorts of projects refute the reputation of cross stitch as being something for little old ladies or schoolchildren’s samplers. They are fun, funny and might just make you blush a little bit.

Genevieve Brading’s book I Got 99 Problems But a Stitch Ain’t One: Cross-Stitch with Attitude features 20 designs that will be particularly though not exclusively attractive to younger crafters.

Statements like “What Would Beyonce Do?” and “In Taylor We Trust” definitely appeal to a certain demographic. Some use language you might not want on your wall if children are present. Others will appeal to a range of stitches, such as the “Wallet? Phone? Keys?” design to put where you keep your daily essentials, or “No Speaking Before Coffee” to keep near the office coffeepot.

The book includes a nice overview of the basics of stitching, the tools you need and how to frame your finished projects. The charts are large and most don’t use that many colors and mostly include words and pretty straightforward designs that would be great for beginners.

This book would be a great gift for a younger person (teens and up) you might be trying to get interested in cross stitch, or for stitchers of any age who are up on popular culture and don’t mind swearing. A lot of the projects in here would also make great gifts (I’m thinking hard about “Namaste and S**t” for my yoga instructor friend).

About the Book: 96 pages, hardcover, 20 patterns. Published October 2016 by Mitchell Beazley, retail price $12.99

Looking for more Snarky or Subversive Cross stitch charts and designs? Check these out on Etsy.

Next Pattern:

Funny St. Patrick's Day Cross Stitch Patterns

If you like your cross stitch designs full of color and with a bit of an 8-bit video game feel, you’ll want to check out Flossy Fox Shop. This Etsy seller based in Washington state specializes in fantasy creatures, cozy witch scenes, magic and myths, as well as other designs that are sure to delight.

I know that shop category “cozy witch scenes” caught my attention, so let’s take a look. It’s mostly sampler style designs with lots of little elements, and some are specifically parts of the house like a cozy with kitchen or library. The one shown here is called Bats and Bells, Tea and Spells, and it includes a table in front of a window with plenty of fun creatures like a fox, crow, dragon and cat.

On the wall there are swords and an axe, and maybe also some drying herbs and a teapot. The design is 82 by 77 stitches and uses 22 colors. On 14 count fabric it comes out to 5.9 by 5.5 inches, or almost 15 by 14 cm.

The largest category is myths and magic, which includes cryptids, dragons, mermaids, kitsune and other fanciful creatures. Another large group is animals and nature, which is heavy on cats and corgis, as well as foxes.

There’s also a handful of cute bookmarks, some Christmas designs, and a few cute video game inspired designs. They also have a few stitchalongs if that’s something you enjoy.

These projects are colorful, cute and whimsical, and look like they would be a lot of fun to stitch if you like this style.

The shop also includes some cute needle minders and washi tape in a similar style if you want to coordinate your stitching.

Check out all the cuteness at Flossy Fox Shop, and if you stitch up one of their patterns I’d love to hear about it!

[Photo: Flossy Fox Shop]

Next Pattern:

Have you read?