Review: I Got 99 Problems But a Stitch Ain’t One

Subversive or salty cross-stitch patterns are a lot of fun to make and to display in your home or give as gifts. These sorts of projects refute the reputation of cross stitch as being something for little old ladies or schoolchildren’s samplers. They are fun, funny and might just make you blush a little bit.

Genevieve Brading’s book I Got 99 Problems But a Stitch Ain’t One: Cross-Stitch with Attitude features 20 designs that will be particularly though not exclusively attractive to younger crafters.

Statements like “What Would Beyonce Do?” and “In Taylor We Trust” definitely appeal to a certain demographic. Some use language you might not want on your wall if children are present. Others will appeal to a range of stitches, such as the “Wallet? Phone? Keys?” design to put where you keep your daily essentials, or “No Speaking Before Coffee” to keep near the office coffeepot.

The book includes a nice overview of the basics of stitching, the tools you need and how to frame your finished projects. The charts are large and most don’t use that many colors and mostly include words and pretty straightforward designs that would be great for beginners.

This book would be a great gift for a younger person (teens and up) you might be trying to get interested in cross stitch, or for stitchers of any age who are up on popular culture and don’t mind swearing. A lot of the projects in here would also make great gifts (I’m thinking hard about “Namaste and S**t” for my yoga instructor friend).

About the Book: 96 pages, hardcover, 20 patterns. Published October 2016 by Mitchell Beazley, retail price $12.99

Looking for more Snarky or Subversive Cross stitch charts and designs? Check these out on Etsy.

Inkspire Studio Shops offers cross stitch patterns as well as tons of different stitch minders, scissor charms and thread organization tools.

We’ll get to all that, but since we’re mostly here for the patterns, let’s start there.

All of the patterns are in one category (called Inkspire Originals if you’re following along). There are a lot of book-themed projects and more of the designs are bookmarks than anything else. You’ll find trope bookmarks, a Reading Rainbow themed design, flowers and a super cute watercolor set bookmark, to name a few.

And while the book themed projects are by far the most numerous, I wanted to share this super cute pile of vintage Pyrex style bowls. I love the colors on this one and it should be easy to stitch because so much of it is blocks (or bowls) of a single color. This one is only available as a printed pattern, but most of them are digital.

It calls for six colors and comes out 5.6 by 6.9 inches, or 14.2 by 17.5 cm when stitched on 14 count fabric.

In addition to the bookmarks and book themed projects you’ll find a few kitchen projects and some Halloween and Christmas designs as well.

But what this shop is really about is needle minders, and there are tons of them, with all kinds of themes ranging from introverted and snarky to animal themes, food and beverages, retro designs and religious and inspiring needle minders.

If you don’t know about needle minders, these are acrylic with magnets. You stick a magnet to the back of your work, add the needle minder to the front of the work, and then it holds your sewing needle when you’re not stitching. No need for piercing your fabric or losing your needle between stitching sessions.

She also makes charms you can attach to your scissors (or use as a stitch marker if you’re a knitter or crocheter), inventory and project trackers and bags large and small to hold works in progress and other supplies. She’s also got a great collection of vintage cross stitch patterns and kits, so check out all the fun goodies at Inkspired Studio Shops.

[Photo: Inkspire Studio Shops]

Have you read?